Why Do WE Lack Confidence?

Confidence is the new trend that every millennia woman needs to have up her sleeve. It doesn’t matter if you are dressed like a celebrity about to walk on the red carpet; but if you lack the persona that goes with the attire, you, my dear friend must be prepared to be treated off-offhandedly. If you want to stand out, you must wear your confidence up your sleeve.

Have you ever noticed why celebrities always get the spotlight even when they are casually dressed? What sparks off them is not the accessories they adorn, it’s their persona wrapped with a coating of confidence that speaks volumes. It is not easy to be confident all the time. There are times when you are under too much pressure, you have tight schedules, work appointments, and many things to be taken care of. And lets say, under these circumstances you have to meet your dearest friend at lunch. Will it throw you off-guard or make you nervous? Of course, not! But let’s replace the friend with a suitable employer who has called you over to discuss business prospect. Can you feel the tension rising to your head? For most of us, the answer would be YESS!!

The two scenarios are pretty much the same. Similar environment, background, etc. The only element that has changed is the person concerned. Just changing this small part of the agenda is sure to throw most of us off-balance.

Now, lets ask ourselves Why?

We are comfortable with known surroundings. Hence, we are not threatened by it. But if something changes, which is of importance to us, it creates anxiousness in us. There is a theory to it as well. Its because our mind immediately begins to think of the umpteen things that could go wrong and how it might affect our future life. Then our mind does a somersault of if the agenda is met and the plan is executed successfully, how it will change our life for better.

Amongst all this confusion, its quite possible to get sidetracked and instead of focusing on what needs to be done, we start focusing on what could go wrong. And if it goes wrong, how will we suffer because of it; causing us to panic more and hence the low self-confidence.

This might also happen because we are not sure we will be able to complete a task successfully, that we might ruin it. Its the fear of messing up a certain task that can make it go wrong in the first place, immaterial of the skill set needed.

In the above scenario we discussed unfamiliar territory. Its not always unfamiliar territory that makes our confidence drop. Many a times, we feel under confident in known territory. Now imagine this scenario. Take a look down the memory lane. Whenever you got low marks in school, how confident you were in reporting this to your parents? Not very, I presume. Although you were in a known territory, still you got the goosebumps, why? Its because in our mind we have a set of boundaries or rules defined. It is just like the morals we have. When our mind senses something amiss, its going to get off balance and make you lack confidence.

Now that we have discussed what are the causes of low self-confidence , we need to figure out what can be done to overcome them.

I will be doing that in my next post.

Until then, stay tuned and let me know your thoughts on this!

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